Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Hold On, Toto!

Ok, feeling better the past few days. Thanks for everyone's kind words after my last depressing post. :) Please keep my mom in your prayers - she is fighting a very bad cold right now on top of everything else. THAT is scary, as her white blood cells are so so very low. She has also found out that she won't need to travel for treatment right now - there is one more chemo they are going to try for her. The oncologist at Mayo Clinic recommended it to her oncologist, and they started the treatment on Monday. Please please please let this work!!!
Moving on.. so we had houseguests (BIL, SIL, cousins) all weekend (f
riday thru tues).. and Maya did not adapt well to that situation. They had a 2 1/2 yr old girl and a 4 yr old girl.. and Maya was NOT interested in sharing and playing nice. She and the younger girl were constantly punching and smacking each other over the head. It was a very loooong visit for everyone involved!! Nice to see them, but not very relaxing. Hopefully it bothered them less than it bothered me. Probably b/c Maya does not have any siblings at home yet - we have a very quiet house. It changes drastically when other kids are here. I better get used to it!! And Maya def. needs a sibling - she has a serious case of 'only child' syndrome right now.
Speaking of which - NO - no news on Devika. We did get updated photos today, which was a nice surprise. Unfortunately, she is crying in all of them. :((( Those kinds of photos are so difficult to see - it's hard to see your child cry and not be able to comfort her. Praying to hear something so
on - word from Kolkata is that the case should be heard by September 10th.

The photos to the left are from a hail storm that came through our area a couple of nights ago. There were several tornadoes.. and we did not see any of them!! Everyone is talking about how they watched the funnel clouds - and we missed it. Good grief! We were busy watching the huge hail and freaking out over how crazy THAT was (and worrying whether the pond fish would be hit by it - you can't really see from the photo, but the hail was slamming into the pond and sending huge splashes into the air) - meanwhile there are tornadoes blowing by. They came as close as 3-4 miles from our house. No sirens. Very scary. I guess next time we see a bad storm, we should just hang out in the basement and wait it out. I'm still appalled that we had no siren warnings. Not very comforting. The tornado photo was taken by my neighbor. YIKES.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Like A Dishrag

..I'm feeling a bit wrung-out today. This has been a crazy week. I just want to go hike into the wilderness, away from people and phones and bad news.. and simply Be. {Photo to the left was taken last week at a canyon close to my home. I need to go back!}
Things that I am slightly concerned about today:
1. Maya won't use the toilet at school.
a) Plus, nanny picks her up 3x/week and I asked that she take Maya inside and practice using the 'big potties' at school at pick-up time to aid in the adjustment. Nanny is not very outgoing and I think maybe a bit afraid of a new 'pick-up process' and did not do what I asked. 'She didn't need to go.. I asked her'. Sigh. I don't care if she NEEDS to go.. I want her to get comfortable and lose her fear. She's a tiny kiddo and the toilets are large - and no one is in the stall to help her. She's overwhelmed and needs to work up to this. ..I thought we had talked extensively about this.. oh well.
2. Losing the nanny soon (we had to give her notice b/c this adoption process is taking forever and her hours are not flexible) and have a TON of work projects coming in the next few weeks. Though b/c she is leaving soon, I'm not going to be highly concerned with #1a. We gave her the option of working a different schedule and staying on with us, but she has yet to give us her decision on that. B/c it is taking so long and she is SO non-confrontational.. I'm assuming the answer is 'no' and she is just too nervous to tell us. Criminy.
3. Our fingerprints expired and I had to drive downtown yesterday to schedule an appmt to drive downtown on Saturday in order to be re-fingerprinted. That's right.. 2 1/2 hrs in traffic yesterday to schedule an appmt. Love the logic of this process sometimes! Good thing is that they told me that we did NOT have to pay $80/ea again (tho their website says that we do, so I am a bit hesitant to believe this).. and that they processed my request immediately so that we CAN go on Saturday and not wait to receive a schedule in the mail (as the usual process goes). My concern is that we will finally get Guardianship from the judge in Kolkata.. and be waiting on our fingerprints to clear. Murphy's Law eh?

Things that I am greatly concerned about today:
1. My nephew spent the past 1 1/2 wks with me b/c he has been 'floundering' a bit and trying to find his way in life (he is 18..dropped out of school last job yet..). He joined the Guard and should be starting to do some things with that - drills, completing his GED. Thought maybe he was getting on-track, but he seems to be vearing off again now that he is back home and with his friends. My bro-in-law (the dad.. mom is from previous marriage) is about to have a stroke over the situation b/c he is taking full responsibility and killing himself to help the kid. Sad thing is that I can see that the boy has some serious issues that need counseling. He WANTS to be in trouble and to have life be hard on him. Thinks that is what he deserves in life. No logic and no getting thru to him. Needs serious help on this issue and scares me to death when I think that going off to war is in his near future.
2. Last but definitely not least.. My mom rec'd her PET scan results and they were not good. Actually, they really sucked. The cancer is being resistant to the latest chemo and has spread like crazy. It is now present throughout all of her skeleton. Luckily (if you can actually use that word) it has not spread to organs yet.. but that isn't far away, according to her oncologist. Just a matter of time. The oncologist stopped her chemo and suggested she consult a specialist at a cancer hospital. She will probably have to travel for treatment. Please pray with us that they find a treatment that will work for her and SLOW this beastly disease down. She has so much to live for. She hasn't even met her new granddaughter.. and I want my children to know their grandma!!!!

So that's been my week. Hubby is traveling all week and so stressed with work that he doesn't even have 5 minutes to talk on the phone during the day with me. No one to complain to.. :) Need a nice big glass of vino.
In interesting news.. I was contacted today by someone from the Children's BBC in the UK.. they are doing a tv show with clips of animals and kids.. and they want to use one of my videos that I've posted on youtube. How cool is that??
Happy Wednesday.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

1st Day of School

Today was Maya's first day of school! I was worried that she might get clingy and upset when I dropped her off.. but no! She grabbed her teacher's hand, waved at me, and yelled 'Bye-Bye Mommy!' as she walked into the classroom. I was so proud of her!
..until I picked her up later and she said 'I punched a girl in the face and the teacher told me that we don't punch people'.
I hope I don't have the only child expelled from preschool for violent tendencies. {eye roll}

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Happy Birthday Devika!

Happy Birthday Devika!!
We hope that you had a special day - maybe some extra milk cookies.. some extra playtime.. some special hugs and kisses. We can't believe that we were not able to be with you on this special day, but we will be with you soon. Hopefully it is only a matter of weeks before we hold you in our arms and kiss your chubby little cheeks! I promise you an xtra-special belated 1st Birthday party!! Hold out your little hand and catch the kisses that we are blowing around the globe to you...

Monday, August 11, 2008

Yes, I Am Alive!

I can't believe that it has been almost a month since my last post! And what a month it has been.
First - we just rec'd a couple of updated Devika/Satarupa photos. Yay! She looks great. On the other hand, ARGH.. I can't believe we are not in India yet. More on this later in the post.
So where have I been for the past month? Believe it or not, we've spent most of the time traveling to see family. And somehow, hanging with the family keeps me so busy that I had no time (or rather, energy) to blog. Crazy.
We flew to IN and visited my family for a few days.. then flew to NY to visit my in-laws for ~a week.. then flew back to spend ~a week with my family again.
That week also included my 20 (omg yes, I did say 20!!) year high school reunion. I seriously cannot believe that it has been 20 years since I've seen most of these people. So bizarre. It was actually an amazing night though - I had sooo much fun! Plus, it was a night of 'closure' for me. There were a few unresolved issues that I had with a couple of people that happened to be from my class.. and I was able to resolve them in extremely positive ways. Extremely. Honestly, that night was fabulous!
Drawback of that night.. it took me 2 days to recover from it. No joke. It was over 90 degrees that evening.. we were outside on the bar's patio.. and the humidity was hideous. I don't think that I drank much beer that night, but I forgot to drink water. Oh and the shot of Jaeger didn't help (good god what WAS I thinking). ;)
So I also have had a couple of photo shoots and other work going on, so time has been very restricted. DH has been traveling 5 days/week for work and working while he is home. My nephew is staying with us for 10 days (leaving Thursday :(().. and I've been trying to prep for Maya's school-start. So life's been full!
Thankfully I've been busy though. Haven't had excess time to stew over this adoption. It is so hard now. Devika turns one year old on Wednesday. :(( I can't believe I've missed her entire first year of life. This SUX!! It is so difficult for us now. Having absolutely NO control over this is such a nightmare. Plus this timeline is completely screwing up our childcare situation and causing a ton of stress. Do we keep the nanny and pay her for nothing (maya starts school and we don't really need her until Devika is home now)? Do we lose the nanny and then crisis after Devika is home and we are ready for help? Can we afford to pay the nanny as well as Maya's school and all of the adoption fees that are coming up very soon?? ARGH. We actually gave the nanny her 30-days notice 2 wks ago, but haven't felt good about that decision. Now DH thinks we should keep her.. but I'm not sure that this is the right answer. Is there a right answer? There must not be, b/c none of the scenerios makes me feel any better. It would be nice to just have an answer and no longer deal with this issue. Maybe the nanny will find another job and end all of this debate.
Luckily Maya is doing very well right now - growing up so fast! She is getting SO much better with the hitting issue lately. It is really only an issue now if she is tired and/or hungry. She is much better at playing with kids and had sooo much fun with her cousin Andrew in IN! She has amazing conversations with me every day - I am constantly taken aback by how smart the girl is! I can't wait to see how she does with school - I think she will love it.
Wow.. time to get some sleep. This day began at 5 am yet again.. need sleep.. zzzzz