Scarred Again

I read several mom-blogs, and most of the time I read stories about emotional moments. Heart-warming accounts of life with their eagerly-anticipated little angel. Proud mommy tales of smart, loving, adorable bundles of joy.

And occasionally I read a blog entry that details a REAL LIFE mommy moment.

By real life I mean.. well.. the type of moment where you realize that the honeymoon is over and you are truly family for the long haul. Not sure if someone who hasn't suffered thru infertility and/or the adoption process would completely understand this. I know that some of my friends who have gone thru hell to build their family still have days of remembering the wait. Days of 'omg I am so so lucky to finally be a mom'. You look at your child and still feel a bit shocked that he or she is actually there with you - calling you 'mama' and holding your hand. Even when the child occasionally acts out (especially in the first few months of parenthood), you correct him/her, but hide a secret smile and squelch the urge to hug the child simply for being.. a child.

And then you experience a true 'mom moment'.
Like when you glance back at your child in her carseat as you are driving down the highway and notice that her adorable little finger is plunged into the depths of a nostril. And as you are considering how to not draw attention to it, but pondering a way to make her stop - you glance back and can only look on in horror. You are driving 75 mph in rush-hour traffic and have no possibility of stopping it ~ the cute little finger emerges with a prize.. and is instantly popped into the beautiful little angel's mouth.
ACK! ARGH! UGH!
Sigh.
Wonder if that type of parenting experience is mentioned in any book? ..I actually hope not, as it isn't something I would want to read about.
And then you start thinking about horrid places for this to occur again {and pray that it doesn't}. Will it be church? A visit with the snooty new neighbors? A party full of old friends who are meeting the child for the first time?
Ahhh.. the joys of parenthood.

So I was looking forward to a nice, chilly glass of sauvignon blanc with my lunch today. We ventured out to a local restaurant that I completely love. We rarely go there - not sure why, as the food is amazing. Not extremely child-friendly maybe.
Anyhow, Maya was in a great mood.. we had a perfect shady table outside by the waterfall.. I ordered my much-anticipated glass of vino, along with a yummy sounding fish entree. I had my first sip of vino and a spoon of amazing jalapeño-clam chowder...
and one of my freaking temp crowns fell off. ARGH!

Somewhat coincidentally, the restaurant was in the same shopping plaza as my dentist.. so I got up and walked over to see what they could do. It took them 2 tries to get the stupid thing cemented on. They decided I needed to take an antibiotic for the tooth (the root canal one) b/c it looked a bit problematic.. and it took them 15 more minutes to get the prescrip to print. By the time I left their office, Aj had pulled up outside with my fish in a to-go box and my vino in his stomach.
I was most depressed.

But, to end on an up-note.. one of the main reasons for the celebratory lunch .. we rec'd our last apostilled doc today {photo to left of our FedEx friend leaving our driveway!} and shipped our completed dossier out - ups overnight air!! Yippee!!
So hopefully we'll have news soon about our 2nd little .. adorable.. nose-picking.. bundle of joy. :)

How is it possible that the weekend is over already?! And what a busy weekend it was.
On Friday, we took a little road trip and did a zoo visit. This was Maya's first trip to a zoo, and it was very fun! I personally LUV zoos, so I'm glad that everyone had as much fun as I did! Feeding the giraffes was the high point of the day. The carousel was the LOW point of the day. Major scarring.. obviously Maya was not quite ready for a carousel ride. oops! Who knew she wouldn't mind sticking her hand in a 3,000 lb giraffe's mouth to feed it a cracker, but she would have a complete panic attack on a carousel horse? Live and learn.

On Saturday, we took a short trip to a state park and had some fun watching Tasha swim in the doggy-park area. The poor thing is feeling her age lately - the arthritis is kicking in. She still doesn't know when to quit, so at least swimming to fetch her balls isn't as painful as running. On Saturday night we had some friends over for dinner.. including their kids, so that was a good time for both Tasha and Maya. Nothing like having several kids walking around and holding food right at the dog's mouth-level! Tasha scored big that night!
On a sad note, my oldest fishie died on Friday night. Sniff..sniff. I somehow had kept that guy alive in our pond for 3 years. I noticed he was looking very sickly and put him in a little 'fishie-ER' (a make-shift aquarium.. I didn't actually take him to the vet.. hee).. but it was too late. At least now I know what to look for and might be able to save another before he's on his last leg/fin.
On an up-note, we have ONE more document that we are awaiting, and our dossier will be complete!! Yay! Praying that it comes tomorrow and we can be finished with this gigantic pile of paperwork. I think we would be on the official 'list' after Dillon recieves and approves the dossier.. but maybe that doesn't happen until after they send it off for further gov't approval. I can't recall.. I should check on that.

A little Maya update: the girl's vocab has grown astronomically in the past couple of weeks. It is so crazy! I've heard that this happens - they hit some point and it just takes off - but it is still amazing. She is singing along with songs, repeating phrases and sentences rather than just words, and making up her own sentences. She has quite a personality, and is just a bundle of entertainment. :) She's also being much more independent (of my leg anyhow) and she is starting to actually interact with other kids (not just smooch them into crying fits). Of course she is also starting to do the toddler 'I am NOT sharing MY toys' meltdowns, which is lovely.
She LIVES for Elmo these days. I was talking about Halloween outfits with Aj tonite, and all of a sudden she starts saying 'Elmo outfit, Elmo outfit'. ! How in the world did she know to interject that thought? And no, there will NOT be an Elmo outfit. I think I can still push my ideas this year.. but I can see that my power is quickly dwindling.. ;) I have a GREAT outfit ordered though.. stay tuned. I just LOOOVE Halloween!
Anyhow, my root-canal tooth is still killing me. I think it's time for more pain medication, ice-cream and Seinfeld DVDs. Such a rough life life!
Cheers!

Lucy In The Sky With.. Nitrous?

Well, I have obviously over-indulged in caffeinated beverages today, as it is 10:30 pm and I am not even remotely tired. I'm a complete night-owl, but I'm usually at least physically tired (aka wiped out from toddler-chasing) by this time of day. Or.. maybe it has something to do with the fact that I slept ~16 hours yesterday. I had major dental work done yesterday, and it made for a very interesting day.
If you are nervous about dental procedures - or, as in my case, sickeningly panic-stricken at the thought of that WHRRRRRRing drill sound.. you MUST explore sedation-dentistry. Omg. So let me explain a little.. ~5 years ago I had a horrid dental experience which involved a tooth that could not be numbed and a hitler-esque dentist who advised me to just 'hold on to the chair, it will only be a minute or two longer'. Many, many minutes later, I left the office completely soaked in perspiration and harboring a deep-seated terror of anyone wielding a small drill and a suction tube.
Fast-forward 5 years, 3 dentists, and many, many painful dental visits later (tho none as bad as the hitler episode). I just began seeing a new-to-me dentist, and she seems completely amazing. Why? Well, she is very nice, informative, and knowledgable.. but also because her office does conscious sedation dentistry, and she agrees that I sound like a good candidate! Probably b/c i have apologized in advance that I am a big dental wuss and i am crazy-paranoid about pain during dental procedures. I am also very difficult to numb, which is partially due to the amt of adrenaline pumping thru me.
So I have some major work to be done, and one big piece of it includes that tooth from 5 years ago. Now the tooth needs a crown. So do 4 others. Good GOD! I blame my mom for this - she has always had major teeth issues. I'm sure it has nothing to do with my gum-addiction which spanned 2 decades. And my 3-year hiatus from dentists after the hitler visit.
Fast-forward again to this week. The sedation experience began with a nice big valium pill on Tuesday night to enable a good nights sleep. Ahh.. very nice! :) Wednesday morning began bright and early - I was at the office by 7 am. I was ushered into a very nice private room. A scented candle was burning.. a dark pink shade was over the window, causing the room to be washed in a very calming shade of pink. The dentist and assistant welcomed me and settled me into the chair. The dentist put the crushed sedation medication under my tongue, settled a nice lavender-scented neck pillow under my neck, hooked me up to the slightly orange-tasting nitrous, dimmed the lights, covered me in a blanket, adjusted headphones with soothing spa music over my ears, connected me to a monitoring machine, and settled back until the drugs had begun their 'thing'.
~15 minutes post-cocktail, I was suddenly floating to the right. Yes, just the right - no left floats. Very fuzzy, nice floating sensations. Then I began thinking about a friend of my sisters who is very religious and is going thru a horrid battle with Hodgkins. I had recently read blog posts from he and his sister (who is donating stem cells this week to him) who discussed their happily accepting pain and offering it up in prayer.. and I had some very very deep thoughts about this. Epiphanies you might call them. And then my thoughts turned to the fact that I was feeling quite high, and it was only ~8 o'clock in the morning! {in re-reading this, it sounds like maybe I'm normally high by 9.. but really, it's usually at least noon.. baahaa!}
I began thinking about how I was floating in my chair, high as a kite, while people around me were probably bored and doing their normal morning routine.. and how I could get used to this feeling, it was too bad you couldn't get this from a nice chardonnay.. and then I began to giggle. It was very difficult to stop the giggle-y feeling.. but it ended abruptly when the dentist returned and the drills came out.
The remainder of the 3 or so hours that the dentist worked on my teeth (and did a stupendous job I might add) - I was slightly coherent. I never slept or dozed, and my eyes remained open. {too open actually - I still could not be numbed and they had to call in the surgeon-dentist to 'specially' numb me - and it caused my left eye to be unable to shut!! WIERD - they had to keep shutting it for me} They kept asking me why I was still awake and that never have they had a patient who kept their eyes open the entire time. They assumed, pretty correctly, that I'm a bit of a control freak. ;)) They were still talking about how shocking this was today when they called to follow-up on me. Anyhow.. during the work, that nasty tooth freaked out and required a root canal. I had to make a trip to a specialist after leaving my dentist (and being walked out by her and my hubby) to have this done. Also no big deal, tho the happy psychedelic drugs had worn off (and no more were offered.. sniff sniff..).
By the time I made it home - ~3 pm, I could not stay awake. I moved from bed to couch and back to bed.. and I think I spoke to at least one person on the phone (no idea what THAT conversation must have been like!).. but I slept most of the time from 3 pm until 7 am this morning. Wow. What a day!
Anyhow. Feeling pretty good today except for very sore jaw at root canal area, and can't eat anything that requires chewing on temporary crowns. Since that is 5!! teeth - both sides involved - I'm down to soup and ice-cream. hm. Big sacrifice, really. LOL.
So I had more that I was going to chat about in my blog post this evening, but that story was quite long! I'll save the rest for another time. I think I'd better go brush what is left of my teeth.
Btw Pam - your survey is on my list of blog material. I'm a sucker for a survey. {ok, so I just like to talk about myself...}
Happy Friday everyone!

Blessings

Our little blessing was blessed herself on August 11th!
Maya was baptized at my parent's parish in Indiana. It was such a nice event.. most of the members of our families were present, and some of our closest friends. Maya was absolutely stunning in her beautiful little white gown - though it was difficult to see and appreciate the gown as she had a death-grip on her bear the entire time! We decided that the bear could partake in the ceremony also, as he is most definitely an important member of our family by now.
Thankfully, there were no 'funniest home video' type moments. A big sigh of relief from mommy on that!! The only moment that generated many chuckles was when the priest was trying to bless Maya with the baptismal oil by making the sign of the cross on her forehead, and she dropped her bear on the floor. He had to pause in mid-sign while she scooped bear up from the floor and then allowed him to continue. :)
I also heard about random cuteness that I did not notice during the ceremony because I was holding her and trying to participate. At one point she reached over and patted her Godmommy (my sister) on the arm and then took her finger and held it in her hand for awhile. At another point I heard that she was giving very small and somber waves at different people in attendance (they were standing around us in a circle). Too cute! She was such a little angel, I was very proud. ..sniff.. :)
If you are so inclined, feel free to view a snipit of the ceremony that was videotaped by Maya's Auntie. It just happens to include the bear-dropping incident.

I am HOPING that someone in my family (or friends) who attended the baptism will please send me photos!! There were a zillion photos taken and I'd really like to have some of them .. HINTHINTHINT! :))) I promise to post a couple more as soon as some kind person sends them to me..
And last, but not least.. more moments of cuteness. Btw.. you might notice that there are no photos of my parents in this batch.. I'm hoping someone has one to send me. My mom would probably kill me for posting a photo of her - as she has lost her hair from chemo and wears hats (and she was very PO'd about anyone photographing her on that day) - but I say in 100% complete honesty - I think she is beautiful in her hats. She has matching scarves (they go around the hats) for every outfit she owns. Wonder where I get my clothing obsession? Wonder no more!

The Long Road Ahead

Well, tomorrow we head out into the heat. Ugh. We are on our way to celebrate Maya's baptism in Indiana. I'm sure the heat will be a little shocking - I hear that the heat index is over 100 with high humidity. Bleeeh.. I guess we'll quickly recall one of the main reasons that we left the Midwest!
We are, however, looking forward to Maya's big day, and to seeing all of our friends and family who will be celebrating with us. I'm personally very excited about the day.. having Maya baptized feels like a major 'family' moment to me. As no one in our families was able to join us at Maya's formal adoption ceremony, this feels like even more of an occasion to mark our family coming 'full circle'. And it is even more special because both of our families are joining us, as well as some of our closest friends.
So - to the readers out there who are joining us - a big Thank You! for helping to make this occasion even more special for our family.

"I will not forget you...
I have held you in the palm of my hand."
- Isaiah 49:15

And in other news... {drumroll}.. our friends have been united with their baby in Kolkata!! We are so, so very excited for them. We can't wait to read the details when they have time to update their blog.. can't wait to see the photos.. and absolutely can't wait to meet Raina! Maya talks about 'Baby Raina' all the time - it will be huge fun to see them meet each other for the first time. I hope they like each other, as I'm not sure they are going to have a choice about this friendship.. ;))
Well, off to finish packing. I can't believe we are driving halfway across the country with a toddler who hates her carseat! ACK! .. hopefully this won't be my last post.. haha..
Also praying that Maya doesn't start pointing out people's 'bums' or try lifting her gown to show everyone her 'belly button' during the ceremony or start yelling 'ALL DONE! ALL DONE!' - as these are a few of her favorite things to do these days.
Remind me why we didn't have her baptized before she could talk??
I'm sure it will be entertaining.... {nervous laugh} ..stay tuned!